I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She's like a pop up book from hell.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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