Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
