evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
