i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
