Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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