Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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