5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
