you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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