You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
