I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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