a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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