I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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