and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
