you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
