On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
