Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Everything about him screamed your future.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
