saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize