My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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