yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We had to coat check the pizza.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
