talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
