I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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