its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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