OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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