He uses pillows to masturbate.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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