You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
