Having a random hookup so left but love u
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
