Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
