Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize