I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
