you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
