Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
