im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
then he tried to convert me to islam
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize