About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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