Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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