I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
