Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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