I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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