Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
