im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
