If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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