bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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