Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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