i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize