Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
