Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
