Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
