Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
high people should be assigned attendants
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
