i would punch a child for taco bell
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
how drunk are you?
Several
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
