Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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