he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
