It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm just crazy horny about you
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
