you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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