i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
