Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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