whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
