I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
sarcasm needs its own font
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
