Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
