actually, I'm a sock model
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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