South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
