Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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