that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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