it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
