one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I am spending my child support on dildos
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
