suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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