Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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