so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
