i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
