I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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